FORMULA OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION MARTIN HAHN TABLE OF CONTENTS I. FORMULA OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION II. COOPERATION IS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION III. OVERCOMING COMMUNICATION BARRIERS BETWEEN PEOPLE IV. HIPPOCRATES PERSONALITY QUARTET AS A COMMUNICATION TOOL V. TEN COMMANDMENTS OF INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION I FORMULA OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Why are certain persons more successful than others in their personal lives and in their professional environment? Some are perhaps very successful at their homes, having good relationships with their spouses and children, but having many communication problems in their office: problems with bosses, but good relationships with co-workers or vice versa, good relationship with the bosses, but conflicts with other managers and subordinates. Others again are having good relationships at the office at the expense of their marriages and family life: too much time is being spent at the office and the family at home is being felt ignored and left behind. The root cause of the problem is communication or to be more exact: effective communication. It is actually surprising that a lot of communication is going well most of the time. However, if a communication problem happens, the question: what went wrong? Usually remains an unanswered question. There are plenty of books, articles and websites dedicated to the problems of communication. Some give scientific evidence of communication barriers and obstacles, but leave finding practical solutions to the reader. More practically oriented recipes are difficult to implement due to lack of time and practice. For example the trait assertiveness: it has become common knowledge that it is important to be assertive in daily life. But how can one be assertive if he or she is introvert by nature? On top of personality (extrovert versus introvert), there is the issue of culture: people from certain countries are simply less extrovert than from other countries. Wouldn’t is be extremely useful to have a simple formula of effective communication which can be used in all circumstances? I think the following formula would be helpful: EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION= SELF-INTEREST + INTEREST OF OTHERS – DISTURBING FACTORS OR EC = SI + IO – DF Let’s look at the three elements of this formula. SELF-INTEREST When people communicate, self interest is probably the main reason for communication. One is far more interested in his or her own interest than in the interests of others. The above formula can actually be simplified even further by simply stating that communication is equal to self-interest. For this reason, communication is rarely effective because one is not trying to find a common ground in interaction processes but merely seeking a way to fulfill certain short-term interests. The most important problem in communication is probably asymmetry. The two parties in question are having different agendas and different interests which is further complicated by asymmetries of, knowledge, power and authority. For this reason, negotiation skills and tactics have become a very important trait of modern civilization. In the old days, physical strength was the determining factor to force the other party to compromise. Thanks to civilization, consensus can now be reached by communication. This civilizing process is basically a shift from a “command and control” communication culture to a “negotiating and persuasion” culture. This shift has resulted in a greater emphasis on the ability to effectively communicate verbally and non-verbally with each other. This also implies better education in which development of dialogue skills has become the backbone of modern education. One is at a young age already required to be able to express their thoughts clearly in class presentations, essays, reports and not to mention in theses of various sorts in tertiary educational settings. INTEREST OF OTHERS The interest of others has probably been the most important issue in many textbooks about effective communication. The ability to listen, to get and give feedback, to control anger (“anger management”), conflict resolution, stress management, etc., have been discussed in great lengths by many authors, scholars, management trainers, etc. The problem is accommodating the interests of others have become more important with the introduction of information technology and the ability to trade goods and services in cyberspace. True globalization has probably already occurred in cyberspace where a global 24 hour economy has been created where everybody is exchanging goods, services and information all over the world. Everybody has become a customer! It is important to look at the needs of others as your customer. This marketing concept was first used in transactional settings, but was introduced in learning organizations and now has become an important concept in all corners of life. The issue of discovering the interests of others has even been infiltrated by non-scientific ‘tools’ like astrology, numerology and tarot cards. Before the discovery of these tools, one was still utilizing (and still is utilizing) many scientific tools offered by psychologists ranging from psychoanalysis, conversation analysis, transactional analysis and the sort resulting in various therapies which might be effective depending on the willingness of the buyer to take it seriously or not. How can one discover the interests of others? This requires a proactive approach from both parties. Two strategies might be helpful. The first strategy is called the PAIR approval strategy: Placate (listen, empathize, respond with concern); Attend (to the other); Investigate (circumstances details of issue); Resolve (decide on action to take). The second strategy is called the five-step method: listen, respond, decide on action, take action and follow up. DISTURBING FACTORS The third element of effective communication is probably the most difficult one: how to eliminate disturbing factors or how to overcome communication barriers. There are basically six types of barriers between people communicating with each other: differences in perception, incorrect filtering, language problems, poor listening, differing emotional states, and differing backgrounds. In order to overcome these barriers, one must be willing to avoid selective perception, condense messages to the bare essentials, use specific and accurate words possible, always verify your interpretation of what’s been said, be aware of the feelings that arise in yourself and in others as you communicate, and attempt to control them. Communication barriers also exist within organizations. Although all communication is subject to misunderstandings, business communication is particularly difficult. Barriers can be caused by: information overload, message complexity, message competition, differing status, lack of trust, inadequate communication structures, incorrect choice of medium, closed communication climate, unethical communication, inefficient communication, and physical distractions. There are three distinct moments which can cause many communication barriers in organizations; during negotiations, when dealing with customers, and holding meetings. When you are negotiating, psychological barriers may arise. These psychological barriers may be yours or may belong to the other party. Be aware that people carry some of these barriers and ‘listen’ for their effects. Look for signs of them in the other party (and in yourself) and use your communication skills to ease or lower these barriers. Dealing with customers, in turn, can be very hard because some customers are hard to please and difficult situations can arise. If a high level of service is not provided, the result will not only be loss of business, but often an increase in the number of difficult and even abusive customers. They have not yet been lost. Deal with them professionally. The negotiating process, finally, demonstrates a fundamental tension between the claiming and creating of value. Value claimers view negotiations purely as an adversarial process. Each side stride tries to claim as much of a limited pie as possible by giving the other side as little as possible. Each party claims value through the use of manipulative tactics, forcible arguments, limited concessions, and hard bargaining. Value creators, in contrast, call for a process which results in joint gains to each party. They try to create additional benefits for each side in the negotiations. They emphasize shared interests, developing a collaborative relationship, and negotiating in a pleasant and cooperative manner. II. COOPERATION IS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Why is communication so important? It is important because it is the mortar which keeps our society together. Without the ability to communicate, we would not be able to create a civilized society which offers order and stability necessary to improve the quality of our lives. But what is actually effective communication? Much has been researched and written about this topic, but so far, the ability to genuinely be able to communicate effectively seems to depend on factors difficult to replicate: talents, emotions, psychological willingness to communicate, and many other ‘subjective’ factors. With all these limitations in mind, it is extremely difficult to find an objective and rational way or formula to be able to communicate objectively. Rules of etiquette have been developed over the centuries to facilitate non-violent and civilized communication between people. These rules have indeed proven to be effective if certain conditions can be met: sophisticated education of the people, an advanced economic system providing enough high paying jobs, and a social security system to protect the weak members of society. If these ‘external’ conditions can be met, communication between people will become much more effective because the people will be able to control their emotions and anger (‘anger management’). If all those conditions have been met, the people will experience the right conditions to communicate effectively. However, effective communication is just one of the possibilities or an option from which the people can choose. Other options of ineffective communication will still be available. The following table will clarify this: Interest High Submission Cooperation Of Others Low Ignorance Dominance Low High Self-Interest According to this table, two aspects are quite important in communication: self-interest and interest of others. The three possibilities of interaction which are ineffective can be identified as: ignorance, submission, and dominance. Only one mode of communication can be identified as being effective: cooperation. What are the characteristics of cooperation? When people are communicating cooperatively they are truly trying to find a consensus based on an equal relationship. Both are engaging themselves in a communication/interaction setting which is symmetrical. The two ineffective modes of communication, dominance and submission, are both caused by asymmetry. Another important criterion is trust. Without trust, one cannot expect fruitful collaboration or cooperation. Trust is based on the ability of both parties to show integrity and reliability. How can one trust another person who is not telling the truth (non-integrity) and/or net keeping his/her word (not reliable)? The final criterion which is crucial to facilitate effective communication is action orientation. Communication is a process of exchange of words. However, if the words are meaningless and not oriented towards the improvement of something, it becomes an empty ritual. This is actually happening when the ignorant mode of communication is happening. Both parties are not really interested in each other, worse even, they are not interested in themselves. The above explanation may seem obvious, but it does not say anything about the effective communication skills one has to possess to facilitate optimal communication outcomes. Communication is a dynamic process. Unfortunately, the process can be interrupted before it really begins. The following can go wrong: 1. Deciding what to say in the communication process. Many people make the mistake of trying to convey everything they know about a subject. Unfortunately, when a message is overloaded with too much information, it is difficult to absorb. To get your point across, decide what to include and what to leave out, how much detail to provide, and what order to follow. If you try to explain something without first giving the receiver adequate background, you will create confusion. 2. Creating an effective message is difficult if you do not know how it will be used. This might be caused by a lack of familiarity with the other person(s). You need to know something about the biases, education, age, status, and style of your receiver in order to create an effective message. Decisions about the content, organization, style, and tone of your message all depend at least to some extent, on the relationship between you and the other person(s). If you do not know the other person(s), you will be forced to make decisions in the dark. 3. Lack of experience in speaking can also prevent a person from developing effective messages. Some people have limited education, lack of aptitude, limited vocabulary, are uncertain about grammar, are frightened to communicate, and lack experience in using language. These problems can be solved by taking courses in communication, participating in communication training programs, read plenty of self-help books, join some association or organization to practice communication skills: anything positive to overcome lack of communication skills. III. OVERCOMING COMMUNICATION BARRIERS BETWEEN PEOPLE When you send a message, you intend to communicate meaning, but the message itself doesn’t contain meaning. The meaning exists in your mind and in the mind of your receiver. To understand one another, you and your receiver must share similar meanings for words, gestures, tone of voice, and other symbols. 1. Differences in perception The world constantly bombards us with information: sights, sounds, scents, and so on. Our minds organize this stream of sensation into a mental map that represents our perception or reality. In no case is the perception of a certain person the same as the world itself, and no two maps are identical. As you view the world, your mind absorbs your experiences in a unique and personal way. Because your perceptions are unique, the ideas you want to express differ from other people’s Even when two people have experienced the same event, their mental images of that event will not be identical. As senders, we choose the details that seem important and focus our attention on the most relevant and general, a process known as selective perception. As receivers, we try to fit new details into our existing pattern. If a detail doesn’t quite fit, we are inclined to distort the information rather than rearrange the pattern. 2. Incorrect filtering Filtering is screening out before a message is passed on to someone else. In business, the filters between you and your receiver are many; secretaries, assistants, receptionists, answering machines, etc. Those same gatekeepers may also ‘translate’ your receiver’s ideas and responses before passing them on to you. To overcome filtering barriers, try to establish more than one communication channel, eliminate as many intermediaries as possible, and decrease distortion by condensing message information to the bare essentials. 3. Language problems When you choose the words for your message, you signal that you are a member of a particular culture or subculture and that you know the code. The nature of your code imposes its own barriers on your message. Barriers also exist because words can be interpreted in more than one way. Language is an arbitrary code that depends on shared definitions, but there’s a limit to how completely any of us share the same meaning for a given word. To overcome language barriers, use the most specific and accurate words possible. Always try to use words your audience will understand. Increase the accuracy of your messages by using language that describes rather than evaluates and by presenting observable facts, events, and circumstances. 4. Poor listening Perhaps the most common barrier to reception is simply a lack of attention on the receiver’s part. We all let our minds wander now and then, regardless of how hard we try to concentrate. People are essentially likely to drift off when they are forced to listen to information that is difficult to understand or that has little direct bearing on their own lives. Too few of us simply do not listen well! To overcome barriers, paraphrase what you have understood, try to view the situation through the eyes of other speakers and resist jumping to conclusions. Clarify meaning by asking non-threatening questions, and listen without interrupting. 5. Differing emotional states Every message contains both a content meaning, which deals with the subject of the message, and a relationship meaning, which suggests the nature of the interaction between sender and receiver. Communication can break down when the receiver reacts negatively to either of these meanings. You may have to deal with people when they are upset or when you are. An upset person tends to ignore or distort what the other person is saying and is often unable to present feelings and ideas effectively. This is not to say that you should avoid all communication when you are emotionally involved, but you should be alert to the greater potential for misunderstanding that accompanies aroused emotions. To overcome emotional barriers, be aware of the feelings that arise in your self and in others as you communicate, and attempt to control them. Most important, be alert to the greater potential for misunderstanding that accompanies emotional messages. 6. Differing backgrounds Differences in background can be one of the hardest communication barriers to overcome. Age, education, gender, social status, economic position, cultural background, temperament, health, beauty, popularity, religion, political belief, even a passing mood can all separate one person from another and make understanding difficult. To overcome the barriers associated with differing backgrounds, avoid projecting your own background or culture onto others. Clarify your own and understand the background of others, spheres of knowledge, personalities and perceptions and don’t assume that certain behaviors mean the same thing to everyone. VI. HIPPOCRATES PERSONALITY QUARTET AS A COMMUNICATION TOOL A lot of people
probably have purchased one of the books written by the famous couple
What are actually the typical characteristics of these four personality types? The choleric can be considered to be highly excitable: this person’s emotions are very easily aroused. This person is vehement in speech and action and his/her movements are carried out swiftly. He/she is bold and ambitious but tends to be incautious. The melancholic, in turn, can be seen as the opposite of the choleric because this person is highly inhibited. The melancholic person is characterized by slowness of thought and a tendency to be depressed. The melancholic has difficulty making friends, but he/she is reliable because constancy and determination are the other traits. The in-between groups consist of the sanguine and phlegmatic types. The sanguine have a tendency towards excitement, whereas the phlegmatic have a tendency towards inhibition. The sanguine person is stable, yet active. He/she is courageous, hopeful, amorous and cheerful, but somewhat inconstant. He/she is courteous, lively, alert, and demonstrative. The phlegmatic person is stable and calm. He/she may even look cool, sluggish or apathetic. Normally quiet and reserved, he/she does not easily become friendly or antagonistic. If one does not know a person very well, Hippocrates personality quartet can certainly be used as an effective tool during interactions. Communicating will then become easier if you know what you are and what the other person may be. However, personality is a ‘tricky’ thing with many limitations. There are actually many personality typologies available. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator offers sixteen different personalities and how can we know which personality fits us or another person? It will take a lot of memorizing and analysis before that is known. An interesting typology is called the Enneagram which divides all people into nine basic personalities. The Enneagram is actually similar to the personality typology offered by numerology. The only difference is that personality number five and seven are switched. Aside from these typologies available in the market, the most important question which must be answered is: how can we use our personality effectively? If we can use our personality more effectively, we will become better communicators and perhaps even get more success in life. Much has been written about improving our personalities and the message is always positive: you can always become what you want. Of course one cannot change everything in one’s self, but attempts can be undertaken to improve our self-image and communication performance. Usually the advice given in many written texts and repeated over and over again by numerous communication gurus can be summarized in the following points: 1. Concentrate on one thing at a time; 2. Understand how you came to be what you are; 3. Imagine yourself becoming what you want be; 4. Suggest to yourself that you can be what you imagine; 5. Act the part you want to play in life. This list is not exhaustive because in the end it boils down to our ability to improve our own lives. Communication is of course an important skill in our attempts to improve our lives. In communication, we need to constantly seek ways to improve our interpersonal communication skills. The way we convey our messages to others must be refined all the time. A very important element in acquiring good communication skills is self-confidence. You need to ask many questions to yourself: do you remain cools in emergencies? Do you avoid blaming others when things go wrong? Can you always be depended upon to do what you say you will do? Do you go out of your way cheerfully to help others? Do you have reasonable faith in humanity? Do you show an interest in the interests of others? Do you take an active part in any organizations in which you belong? Another element which is related to the above issue is our ability to imagine ourselves becoming what we want to be. The power of visualization or imagination is extremely important if you want to change yourself or at least become a better communicator. The combination of will and imagination is very strong and will help you change in a positive way. If you want to change yourself, but your imagination dwells on thoughts of failure, then you will fail. This is called the law of reversed effort. Finally, you need to be able to talk yourself into change. This technique is called affirmation. You should constantly repeat to yourself what you want to change. If you want to become a better communicator, you should repeatedly say to yourself: I am a good communicator! Avoid saying: I will become a good communicator because you might fail. You must picture yourself as already a person who is a superb communicator! V. TEN COMMANDMENTS OF INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION More and more companies around the world are hopping national borders to conduct business. Regardless of the organization you join, you are likely to be dealing with people who come from various national, religious, and ethnic backgrounds. Communicating across language and cultural barriers at home will also challenge your skills. Without leaving your own country, you’re likely to come into contact with people from a variety of backgrounds who work in your company, industry, and community. Communicating with people from other cultures can be challenging. At the same time, your ability to foster successful communication between people of differing cultures will bolster your success in business and career. To overcome cultural barriers to effective communication, you must first learn what culture actually means. Culture is a shared system of symbols, beliefs, attitudes, values, expectations, and norms for behavior. Subcultures, in turn, are distinct groups that exist within a major culture. Cultures differ in several ways that affect communication: · Stability: conditions in the culture may be stable or may be changing either slowly or rapidly; · Complexity: cultures vary in the accessibility of information. · Composition: some cultures are made up of many diverse subcultures and generally, the fewer the subcultures in a person’s background, the easier it is to communicate, because you have fewer potential differences to consider; · Acceptance: cultures carry in their attitudes toward outsiders, some are openly hostile, some maintain a detached aloofness, and others are friendly, and cooperative toward strangers. By bridging these differences, you can successfully achieve intercultural communication. However, the four elements of culture are very general in nature. They don’t say much about how to communicate with persons from other cultures. Here are the so called ten commandments of intercultural communication. I. Be aware of differing social values; II. Be aware of differing status symbols and how to demonstrate them; III. Be aware of decision making customs: not all people like to make decisions quickly and efficiently; IV. Be aware of concepts of time: not all people like to see time as money; V. Be aware of personal space: people from different cultures have different ‘comfort zones’; VI. Be aware of cultural context: people from certain cultures (called ‘high-context cultures) rely less on verbal communication and more on the context of nonverbal actions and environmental settings to convey meaning. People from low-context cultures like the USA rely more on verbal communication and less on circumstances and implied meaning to convey meaning; VII. Be aware of body language: learn the basic differences in the way people supplement their words with body movement; VIII. Be aware of different etiquette rules or manners: what is polite in one culture may be considered rude in another; IX. Be aware of legal and ethical behavior; X. Be aware of language barriers: English is the most prevalent language in international business, but it’s a mistake to assume that everyone understands it. Learning as much as possible about another culture will enhance your ability to communicate with its members. Read books and articles about the culture and talk to people who have done business with that culture’s members. Concentrate on learning something about the culture’s history, religion, politics, values, and customs. Find out about a country’s subcultures, especially its business subculture, and any special rules of protocol. Here are some tips when communication interculturally · Take responsibility for communication · Withhold judgments · Show respect · Empathize · Tolerate ambiguity · Look beyond the superficial · Be patient and persistent · Recognize your own cultural biases · Be flexible · Emphasize common ground · Send clear messages · Increase your cultural sensitivity · Deal with the individual · Learn when to be direct |